After over a decade in prison, I am finally going home. As I begin to prepare for my transition to the outside, to say that I have feelings of anxiety would be an understatement. Of course, I'm ecstatic that my Lord Jesus Christ has granted me the opportunity to be reunited with my family. In the same breath, having traveled this road before, this experience can sometimes push overwhelming thoughts and emotions upon me. However, this journey has made me determined to be a better version of myself. Feelings of uncertainty were put aside, and my humility was allowed to grow. You see, in the midst of criminal activities, my life appeared to wander meaninglessly and destructively, but now it is filled with ambition and direction. I have accomplished, experienced, and witnessed things that changed my demeanor and perspective on life.

Midway through my incarceration, I started to realize that significant changes needed to be made. My first priority was to establish a better and more personal relationship with God. I was re-baptized. I knew The Almighty's abiding presence would direct me toward the right paths. Over time, the negative activities I once pursued started to diminish. I was no longer interested in the things that brought me to prison. Those thoughts were replaced by religion, family, and education. Despite harsh conditions, I obtained my GED, enrolled and started college courses – in 2027 I will receive an Associate Degree in Liberal Arts. I know that my path to success is far from over. On the other hand, I've accomplished many goals that seemed impossible prior to my incarceration. Taking these steps has been a huge breakthrough towards building confidence and character and that has moved me closer to freedom from my vices.

Unfortunately, being incarcerated, problems and uncertainties are common throughout the prison system. It is my responsibility to cope with my emotions and to never allow them to influence my decisions. Of course, sometimes I fell short when I allowed my mind to conform to this world. Nevertheless, I never let that stop my personal and spiritual growth. I tried my best to use my difficult situations as motivation to propel me forward and keep me focused. Instead of being concerned about people's opinion and my image, I became more introspective and more realistic with myself and others. Instead of causing harm to myself, like acting out or listening to my emotions, I obtained a newfound belief in my worth and dignity. These tough experiences I have endured not only changed my life but also shaped me to be resilient, persistent, and more humble. I am determined, from here on out, instead of being self-focused a majority or all the time, I hope to be more altruistic.

In addition, during my time of incarceration, I've witnessed many events take place that changed my perspective on life such as parole boards giving additional prison sentences after parole hearings to others, individuals not being released after serving a substantial amount of their time, and when finally released, their physical and mental strength had almost departed from them. When I saw things of this nature transpire, I started to view life through a different lens. I realized that could be me, if I do not take heed of my situation. For the first time in my life, I took responsibility for how I had been fearful, judgmental, and negative. These responses were typically initiated from perceived threats to my pride and ego. In boyhood, I was taught to conceal my emotions because showing sadness is a sign of weakness. I felt I must act this way to gain recognition and respect, so I expressed anger instead. These poor choices I made resulted in me lacking respect for life and being locked away from society. Freedom is a privilege that should be valued, the moment I take advantage of it, I can lose it, and sometimes forever.

Ignorantly, it took a few drastic situations for me to realize my life was going nowhere. I thought I knew everything and had it all figured out. Such hubris blocked my spiritual growth that kept me detached from God, family, and friends. In recognizing the impact of my behavior, I felt the need to make amends to all I could, even if this was frightening. I wanted to be free of the shame of continuing such hurtful behavior toward my loved ones. Remarkably, using my life as a living example, God has a way of making the best out of bad situations. By being rigorous and thorough, I can no longer fool myself about how badly my actions and its consequences have affected my life and of those people around me. I started to reevaluate my attitude and have a more realistic view of life, and I was surprised at the effect. Seeing the change in me, many people have expressed how proud they are of me for showing so much strength, tenaciousness, and gratitude.

To conclude, upon my release I will have served close to 15 years in state prison. I do not regret any of my personal experiences because those circumstances made me the man I am today. However, I am deeply remorseful for any trauma that I have caused to anyone due to my ignorance and selfish behavior. The path toward my recovery involved hard and sometimes painful work. But it was worth the effort. In doing so, I cleanse my heart of resentments and bitterness and made room for the truly useful good things God has in store for me. I can truly say that I'm ready to become a productive member of society.